Stepping Up for a Friend-

The passing of a good man offers an opportunity for reflection

Dennis Gillen had lived in Merced since 2004.  He passed away in February 2022.  

When a friend passes, we remember the good times, the pearls of wisdom, and even the challenging moments.

Thinking back on the life of my friend Dennis, there were plenty of items in each category.  He passed at age eighty-three.

We played golf dozens of times during the years after I moved to Merced.  We had weekly coffee breaks for about ten years straight.  You get to know someone real well when you have coffee with him every week.

Golf connected me with Dennis and we would enjoy a round from time to time including this time as we played one of the final rounds at the former Stevinson Ranch course in Merced County.  Photo:  Newvine Personal Collection.

When I think of the good times, there were the golf outings.  We met on a golf course in 2006.  We played one of the final rounds ever at Stevinson Ranch before it closed in 2015. 

Taking a vacation day from work, we said farewell to Merced County’s finest golf course before the owners closed up shop and converted the property to agricultural land.  

It was at Stevinson where Dennis offered a suggestion to help with a chronic slice in my drives.  The advice amounted to simple foot placement.  It worked.

With regard to wisdom, Dennis offered life experiences.  He lost his mom tragically when he was just five years old.  His marriage that produced three children ended in divorce. 

He had more than his share of financial setbacks.  As I brought up issues I was dealing with at work, he would share lessons learned from customers during his forty-plus years in his working career.

All of this and more shared between friends whether on the golf course or at our weekly coffee breaks at a local cafe.

Dennis gave me this 2018 photo he had another golfer snap for him at an area golf course.  

The challenges in this friend-to-friend relationship came in the final years of his life.

As his health declined I became aware of just what friendship is all about.  

At this stage of our decade-and-a-half friendship, I realized I would be carrying more of the investment in time and energy to help my friend. 

When he couldn’t drive, I (and other friends) would help him get to church, to a store, or to his credit union. 

Our weekly coffee breaks continued at his home as I brought in the beverages and visited him for a couple of hours each week.  

Every time I talked to him, he’d end the conversation with the words “God bless.”  

 I’m grateful that in what became the final months of his life, Dennis never let me forget how much he appreciated our bond. 

Rarely did one of those weekly coffee breaks end without Dennis telling me how thankful he was that I was his best friend.

I needed to hear that. 

So when a friend passes, we do recall the good times.  We extract tidbits of conversation that stick with us forever.  And we make sense out of the challenging moments realizing that it is in these darker times when real friends are called upon to step up.

Steve Newvine lives in Merced. 

Two stories featuring his friend Dennis are included in his book Course Corrections, and one of those stories is reprinted at the Can-Do Californians Facebook page ((3) Can-Do Californians- Book by Steve Newvine | Facebook) .  

Sleeping Bags and Merit Badges-

Reliving Good Moments from Scouting Adventures

I am among the Scouts attending a week of comradery at the former Camp Portaferry in Lewis County, NY back in the early 1970s.  I’m in the middle row in the center just above the scout at the top of the Boy Scouts sign.   The camp property was sold in recent years and divided into building lots.  Photo:  Port Leyden Historical Club.

A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, friendly, and courteous.

These are some of the attributes outlined in the official Scout Law.

I was a Boy Scout for a few years.  I earned some merit badges, packed a sleeping bag for a lot of campouts, and picked up some lifelong lessons.

I left scouting upon moving up to high school but the memories are still there.

Every summer, our Troop 41 would head up for a week to a Scout Camp in Lewis County in northern New York.  At Camp Portaferry, we’d earn some merit badges (I recall at least one for flag signaling), horse around at the dining hall following meals, and go on a hike or two.  We would enjoy nightly campfires with all the troops attending.  Most of those campfires featured telling ghost stories, performing in talent show competitions among the troops, and singing such classics as “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” and “Be Kind to Our Web Footed Friends”.

In case you are not familiar with the lyrics to that second title, here’s a sampling written to be sung with the refrain of Stars and Stripes Forever:

Be kind to our web-footed friends,

For a duck may be somebody’s mother.

Who lives in the deep of the swamp,

Where the weather is cold and damp (pronounced so as to rhyme with swamp)

Here’s what a properly attired scout would wear prior to heading out for either a weekend campout or a weeklong stay at scout camp.  Photo:  Newvine Family Collection

I left scouting long before even considering going after an Eagle Scout designation.  My friend Phil stayed with the program and became an Eagle Scout.  

I never fully appreciated the work and dedication that went into becoming an Eagle Scout until years later when, as a community leader, I was invited to a ceremony where the designation was awarded to a few local scouts. 

There was a part of the ceremony when the master of ceremonies asked all Eagle Scouts to stand.  Looking around the room, I saw several men stand, connecting with this new group of those receiving one of scouting’s highest honors.

There seems to be a special connection among the Eagle Scout community.  It doesn’t always happen, but when it does, it is really something to see.

Local scout leader Onis Lentz passed away in early 2022.  He served in practically every volunteer role of the Boy Scouts, including a stint on the Executive Council of the Yosemite Council.  Photo: Judith Alvardo, Rio de Oro District. 

I may not have stayed with Scouting as long as I would have liked, but I have been honored to know some outstanding people who were scouts.

Of special note is my friend Onis who recently passed.  Onis was a scout, scout leader, and steady advocate of the value of scouting to society. 

He earned his Eagle Scout designation and was also honored with such awards as the Silver Antelope, Silver Beaver, District Award of Merit, and the Order of the Arrow.

He was a member of the executive board for the Greater Yosemite Council of the Boy Scouts of America. 

He was among the first to welcome me to the community when my wife and I moved here in 2006.  He lived the Scout Law, particularly the part about a scout being loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, and kind.

“My grandfather was a very special person,” Tara Zampa said about Onis.  “He was loved by many.”

From the Camp Portaferry Trading Post, I purchased this mug during my time at Scout Camp.  Photo:  Newvine Personal Collection

There is no doubt that the Boy Scouts have had their share of negative press in recent years.  I do not excuse any of that, and hope that resolution comes to those harmed by the actions of some bad actors.

All I know is that for me, being a Scout made a better life for me.  A lot of the solid citizens I’ve known through service clubs and other community initiatives just happened to have scouting as part of their background.  

And that has made a positive difference in the lives of many.

Steve Newvine lives in Merced. 

His book Can Do Californians is now available in hard cover at Lulu.com.  

He is indebted to Judith Alvardo and the Rio de Oro District for providing information on the scouting career and honors bestowed upon Onis Lentz.  A celebration of life for Onis will be held March 5 at Camp Warren-McConnell, 11760 Livingston Cressey Road, in Livingston, CA